Held in Rest

"The night had been long and wearisome because the day had been full of nibbling annoyances; the high resolve os some winged moment had frenzied, panicked, no longer sure, no longer free, and then had vanished as if it had never been. there was need, the utter urgency, for some fresh assurance, the healing touch of a healing wing. 'A great while before day' (Jesus) found his way to the quiet place in the hills. And prayed." - Howard Thurman, The Inward Journey, 30

To rest - I am practicing sabbath again. It is one of my favorite practices that I am not good at maintaining. From sundown to sundown: a time of rest and candles and treasuring the wholeness of Creation, the wholeness of myself. a time for my thoughts to both drift and turn towards Creator. I wonder how Jesus prayed, at night. I wonder if he sang, as I do, when I'm alone. Sometimes, it is easier to sing when you are alone. I wonder if Jesus ever felt such things. Rest, for me, usually entails doing nothing. Walking, talking, painting, swimming - all are enjoyable, but they all are something; i rather lie flat on my bed and stare at the clouds drifting by the window. If I do this for a day or so, I am ready to work again, more than ready! Eager! If I don't do this, I become resentful. Angry. Bitter. Of course, I also don't have children.

But perhaps rest- perhaps that real rest - is not only lying flat on the back. Perhaps it is the experience of deep support - of how there are so many beings seen and unseen around us, of how the past and the future are both in the present. maybe it is an ability to relax into this present moment because the present moment is thick, saturated with awareness and beauty, and in it you can rest. to feel the energies around you requires a certain state of consciousness; not going 'down' so much as going 'around'. Any moment can be "deep". And, perhaps, more and more of our moments can be restful.

May we find support in this moment

And trust the ones to come.

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